top of page
Asian married couple meeting with therapist to therapy relationship problem and mental dep

Gottman Method

Gottman Method

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is a couple-based therapy that aims to disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy and affection. It aims to remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy. Therapists who employ the Gottman method play a crucial role in working with couples to create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding in their relationship, thereby empowering them to navigate their issues more effectively. 


The Gottman Method is research-validated, and its founder, Dr. John Gottman, performed hundreds of empirical studies with over 3,000 couples spanning more than 40 years. One of Dr. Gottman's groundbreaking research studies is his series of longitudinal studies on the crucial components that lead to the success or demise of the marital relationship. Dr Gottman and his wife, Psychologist Julie Gottman, created the Gottman method and the Sound Relationship House theory, which specify nine healthy relationship elements.


The sound relationship hours include nine components of healthy relationships, which includes


1.         Build Love Maps

2.         Share Fondness and Admiration

3.         Turn Towards Instead of Away

4.         The Positive Perspective

5.         Manage Conflict

6.         Make Life Dreams Come True

7.         Create Shared Meaning

8.         Trust

9.         Commitment


Gottman holds the tenet that how couples navigate conflict, and the emotions they express during their conflict will ultimately determine the outcome of the relationship. One of Dr Gottman's groundbreaking research holds that couples require five times more positive interactions for every negative emotion they experience during conflicts. The reason is that emotions, such as defensiveness and contempt, hurt a relationship more than the way positive emotions heal it. Gottman holds that the Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) lead to the demise of relationships. Couples must identify these four horsemen, eliminating and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns.


Couple therapists employing the Gottman method focus on helping couples develop the skills and understanding necessary to maintain fondness and admiration, turn toward each other to meet their needs, and manage conflict. The therapy also focuses on how couples can react and repair relations when they hurt each other.


Restoring Peace provides relationship therapy for dating and married couples. Our therapist employs the Gottman method, Emotion-Focused Couple therapy and other psychotherapy modalities to help couples navigate conflicts and restore and rebuild healthy relationships. For more information, please email us at

bottom of page