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Are you being gaslighted?

Updated: Aug 29

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. The perpetrator creates a false narrative to make targets question and doubt their judgment or reality. Over time, the targets will become unsure about their perceptions, memories and thoughts. Some may even start to wonder if they are losing their sanity.


Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can happen to anyone. It is especially prevalent in abusive relationships where the abusers gaslight their partners to keep them under their control and to prevent them from leaving the relationship. Frequent gaslighting cause the victim to become increasingly uncertain about their emotional and mental stability, experience a loss of confidence and self-esteem, and depend on the relationship even more.


Some signs that your partner may be gaslighting you include them:


  • Making you question your experiences, feelings, thoughts and memories

  • Persistently blame you

  • Often lying to you and doubling down on the lie even when they get caught

  • Making you feel insecure or minimizing your feelings

  • Alienating you from people who support and love you

  • Using their “love” for you as a defence or using other compassionate words as a weapon

  • Accusing you of being paranoid

  • Overly critical of you

  • Insisting that they are “right” and refusing to take into consideration the facts or your perspective


Some common forms of expression used in gaslighting are those along the lines of:


  • “That never happened.”

  • “You’re so sensitive/dramatic.”

  • “You know I only do it because I love you.”

  • “Believe me, I know what’s best for you.”

  • “I’m sorry that you think I’ve somehow hurt you.”

  • “You should have known how I would feel/react.”

  • “You’re crazy, and others think so too.”


Gaslighting often stems from deep-rooted issues. People who gaslight others may also have mental health challenges of their own. They may do it to achieve a sense of being in control. Unfortunately, the gaslighting leaves the victim feeling vulnerable, insecure and powerless. Being gaslighted for an extended period may lead to serious mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation.


If you experience signs of being gaslighted, please consider seeking help before your self-esteem and confidence deteriorate. A professional counsellor or psychotherapist can work with you to process your challenges and deal with the issues.


Restoring Peace Counselling & Consultancy offers counselling and psychotherapy services to help individuals, couples and families with various psychological and relationship challenges. For more information, please visit www.restoringpeace.com.sg or Whatsapp us at +65 8889 1848.



Understanding Gaslighting - Restoring Peace Counselling and Consultancy

Keywords: Singapore, mental health, psychological services near me, therapy, therapist, counsellor, gaslighting, gaslight, manipulation, relationships, abuse, anxiety, depression

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