Childhood trauma can shape how we think, feel, and relate long into adulthood. When those wounds are connected to family experiences, a painful question often arises: Do I have to punish my parents for what they did to me? The short answer is no. But the longer answer requires nuance, honesty, and emotional maturity. Drawing from trauma-informed family care principles and contemporary psychological perspectives, we can approach this question in a way that promotes healing ra

Family reunions, like the Chinese New Year reunion dinners, are often framed as meaningful traditions. But what if you attend even when you don’t want to? For some people, saying “yes” in these situations goes beyond cultural or familial respect and may reflect deeper patterns of people-pleasing — a behaviour in which one prioritises other people’s needs, comfort, or approval over their own. What Is People-Pleasing? People-pleasing refers to a pattern of behaviour where a p

For many people, family gatherings can feel warm and nostalgic. But for others, especially those with histories of trauma, these events can evoke intense emotional, physical, or nervous system responses that feel disproportionate to what is happening in the moment. Understanding why this happens requires looking beyond surface interactions to how trauma lives in the body and nervous system, and how family dynamics can unconsciously reactivate past survival responses. Trauma