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The Psychology Behind Inward Blaming

Inward blaming is a behaviour that responds to the tendency to overestimate an individual's control over an event or situation. It stems from a deeper inclination to explain events based on personal deficiencies rather than recognising that various factors may contribute to the problem or issue. While taking responsibility for one's actions is necessary, it is essential to acknowledge that not everything is within our control.


Excessive inward blaming is self-defeating because it reflects perceived personal inadequacies, which lead to paralysis in decision-making and personal growth. Inward blaming often manifests as an expression of perceived failure or personal flaws and can stem from previous experiences of being constantly blamed for no fault of one's own. This behaviour may also result in passive-aggressive responses, affecting relationships with others.


Recovering from constant inward blaming involves being compassionate and kind to ourselves. While it is important to take responsibility for mistakes, it is equally important to recognise that not everything is caused by us or within our control. This recovery requires accepting that we cannot change every aspect of our surroundings or the actions of others, and striving to do so only perpetuates the cycle of inward blaming.


Shifting from excessive inward blaming towards self-compassion involves understanding that while it is essential to give our best in everything, we must maintain a balanced and realistic view. By acknowledging our humanity and the complex factors influencing every situation, we can begin to liberate ourselves from the chains of self-blame and embrace a healthier, more balanced perspective on our actions and their outcomes.


The journey to recover from inward blaming may include seeking help from a professional counsellor or psychotherapist. Therapy provides a safe space to explore and identify the root causes of self-blame. Interventions may involve addressing self-blame by helping individuals identify and modify the thought patterns that lead to constant inward blaming. Since the root of inward blaming is often previous negative experiences, processing these in therapy can help individuals develop greater self-awareness, which is essential for recognising when excessive inward blaming is occurring and understanding its impact on their emotional well-being.


Restoring Peace is a private mental health centre that provides counselling and psychotherapy services for individuals and couples with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, and various mental health challenges. For more information, please visit www.restoringpeace.com.sg or WhatsApp at +65 8889 1848. For periodic updates, we invite you to join our Telegram group, https://t.me/restoringpeace. 


Keywords: self-blame, psychology, bias, control, therapy, counselling


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