Understanding Defense Mechanisms Series: Shifting the Tension
- Admin
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 11 hours ago
When discomfort feels too much, the mind finds quiet ways to pass it on. Therapy helps build awareness so tension can be held, not displaced.
It often starts with something small. You keep your composure through a tough meeting or a critical client, but by the time you get home, one small comment from your partner feels unbearable. You snap, then regret it almost instantly.
You might later wonder, Why did I react like that? The real emotion was not about what happened at home, but what had been simmering all day. That unspoken frustration simply needed somewhere to go.
Psychologists call this displacement a classic defence mechanism. It is the mind’s way of redirecting an emotion that feels too risky or inappropriate in one situation into another that feels safer. The emotion is not gone, only moved.
In that way, we all shift the tension. Some of us move it outward toward others, while others carry it inward through guilt, withdrawal, or overthinking. The goal is self-protection, not harm. But over time, this quiet transfer can take a toll on our relationships and sense of peace.
How shifting the tension shows up
Displacement is part of daily life, often in ways we do not notice:
A teacher who feels criticised by a superior ends up scolding her students more harshly than usual.
A parent under pressure at work reacts irritably when their child asks for help.
A partner who feels ignored begins picking fights over minor issues.
Sometimes the emotion turns inward rather than outward. Someone who feels angry at a loved one may shame themselves for being “too emotional.” Another might channel stress into late-night work or compulsive scrolling.
In Singapore, this pattern is shaped by cultural expectations to stay composed and avoid confrontation. Many of us have grown up hearing “don’t make a scene” or “be respectful.” When direct expression feels unsafe or socially costly, the emotion takes another path.
Displacement can appear as irritability, self-criticism, or even perfectionism. Beneath these behaviours is often a longing to release tension without losing control.
Why does the mind shift the tension?
The concept of defence mechanisms originated in early psychoanalytic theory. Sigmund Freud and, later, his daughter, Anna Freud, described them as unconscious strategies the mind uses to manage anxiety and inner conflict.
Displacement protects us by moving emotion from a threatening target to a safer one.
Projection transfers unwanted feelings onto someone else (“she’s angry,” instead of “I am angry”).
Rationalisation makes discomfort sound reasonable (“it wasn’t that important anyway”).
Reaction formation transforms an unacceptable feeling into its opposite (showing excessive kindness toward someone we secretly resent).
These patterns are not failures of character. They are adaptive ways of maintaining stability when emotions feel overwhelming.
Psychiatrist George Vaillant later proposed a developmental spectrum of defences. Sublimation, for example, is a mature form of displacement in which emotion is redirected into creative or constructive outlets such as writing, sport, or community work.
In small doses, these defences protect us. The challenge is when they run automatically, leaving us disconnected from what we truly feel.
Modern perspectives: tension as a survival response
Contemporary trauma and attachment theories view defences like displacement not only as psychological manoeuvres but also as physiological safety responses.
When someone cannot safely express anger, sadness, or fear, the body finds another route. A person who appears “snappy” at home after a stressful day may be releasing tension only once their body senses safety. Similarly, emotional energy can spill into small irritations, self-doubt, or fatigue.
Object relations theory offers another lens through projective identification, where we unconsciously evoke feelings in others that we cannot hold ourselves. For example, a manager who feels insecure may act in ways that make the team feel inadequate as well. The emotion moves between people like static in the air.
Seen this way, defence mechanisms are not relics of old psychoanalysis but living expressions of how humans regulate distress. They protect us from vulnerability but also distance us from it.
The power of awareness
Awareness is the turning point between reaction and choice.
In therapy, one of the first steps is helping clients notice what happens just before they react. This might be a tight jaw, a rush of heat, or a familiar thought like “no one listens to me.” That instant holds enormous potential.
When we recognise the signs of rising tension, we create room to choose a different response. Awareness interrupts the automatic chain of displacement and redirects it toward understanding.
Here are some practical ways to build this awareness:
Track where tension lands. Notice who or what tends to receive your stress. Do you vent to loved ones after work, or turn it inward as self-criticism? Naming this pattern connects emotion with its origin.
Name the underlying feeling. Beneath anger may be fear, shame, or disappointment. Ask, “What might this feeling be trying to tell me?”
Pause before responding. A few deep breaths before speaking helps shift the reaction from automatic to intentional.
Reflect, not replay. After a difficult moment, revisit it gently. What were you trying to protect? What need went unseen?
Ground in the present. Simple practices such as feeling your feet on the floor or noticing your breath remind your body that it is safe now.
Building awareness takes practice. It does not erase emotion but helps contain it where it belongs, instead of transferring it to others. That is what emotional maturity looks like in action.
How therapy helps
Therapy offers a confidential space to slow down and trace where emotion travels. A counsellor can help you recognise recurring themes, for instance, who tends to receive your frustration, when you withdraw, or what emotions feel hardest to name.
Once recognised, these defences lose their grip. Many clients describe feeling calmer, not because their lives became easier, but because their awareness expanded. They begin responding to tension instead of reacting to it.
Over time, displaced energy can transform into clear communication, humour, or creative expression. The emotion that once travelled outward finds a home in reflection.
A quiet shift
Everyone displaces tension. What matters is whether we can see it as it happens.
Awareness does not prevent stress, but it softens its journey. When we can hold our discomfort without passing it on, tension no longer travels unchecked—it transforms into understanding. And that is where healing begins.
Restoring Peace is a private mental health centre offering counselling and psychotherapy for individuals, couples, families and groups facing challenges such as trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, and relational issues. Learn more at www.restoringpeace.com.sg or WhatsApp us at +65 8889 1848. For updates and resources, join our Telegram group: https://t.me/restoringpeace.
Additional Read:
References
Cherry, K. (2023, October 18). 20 defense mechanisms we use to protect ourselves. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/defense-mechanisms-2795960
Cherry, K. (2024, April 3). Mature vs. primitive defense mechanisms. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-defense-mechanisms-5213880
Psychology Today Editors. (n.d.). Displacement. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/displacement
Psychology Today Editors. (n.d.). Defense mechanisms. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/defense-mechanisms
Seltzer, L. F. (2011, October 26). The essential guide to defense mechanisms. Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201110/the-essential-guide-defense-mechanisms
Keywords
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