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Is It All Our Parents' Fault - Part 1?

Updated: Jun 7

Parents undeniably play a significant role in the development of their children. Their actions, behaviors, and attitudes shape a child's worldview, self-esteem, and emotional health from infancy through adulthood. Examples of negative impacts of parenting include:

  • Projecting their anger towards someone else onto their children.

  • Giving the silent treatment when angry.

  • Punishing their children excessively over academic results.

  • Enrolling their children in excessive tuition and enrichment classes, depriving them of adequate rest.

  • Treating their children as therapists by sharing the parents' relationship issues.

  • Being over controlling and rigid.

Unfortunately, such behaviours seriously impact children's development. Research shows that children whose caregivers are too rigid, unclear, enmeshed, or overcontrolling often feel confused, vulnerable, or overly anxious. They also struggle with low self-esteem and constant relationship issues. These children usually have difficulty connecting with others due to fear of abandonment or distrust.

Parents who have unintentionally hurt their children because of their parenting style may benefit from processing their parenting approach with a professional counselor or psychotherapist. Therapy is beneficial in helping parents evaluate the negative impact of their parenting style on their children and take steps to redirect their approach. Therapy is also effective in assisting parents to heal from their own adverse childhood experiences, which may have triggered their negative behavior or feelings towards their children. Although the healing process can be painful, it is beneficial in opening the pathway to a better and healthier parent-child relationship.

Restoring Peace is a private mental health centre which provides counselling and psychotherapy services for children, adolescents, youths, adult individuals, couples and groups with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief and various mental health and relationship challenges. For more information, please visit or WhatsApp at +65 8889 1848. For periodic updates, we invite you to join our telegram group:


Blame, parents, children, fault, reframe, therapy, trauma, past, coping mechanisms, mindfulness


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